IF SOMEONE IS SCARED OF SPIDERS OR BUGS DONT FUCKING PICK ONE UP AND WALK TOWARDS THEM WITH IT YOU ARENT FUCKING FUNNY YOU’RE A GODDAMN ASSHOLE
its funny though
- mom: wake up
- me: *maybe if I pretend i'm dead she'll go away*
did you know that teachers are instructed to get in between two boys in an altercation and break their eye contact because boys will disengage once the immediate situation is interrupted but they’re instructed to like never ever get in between two girls in a fight because girls wont stop after they lose sight and will actively try to go through whatever’s in between them and teachers are supposed to wait for security to break the shit apart
teenage girls will fuck your shit up
The Hunger Games:
Dedicates half a chapter to legs shaving, kills Finnick in half a sentence.
Isn’t that how life is, though? We can waste countless minutes stressing and focusing our attention on meaningless things while in an infinitesimal fraction of that time a life can be taken.
Whoa girl. Too deep for me.
JK Rowling walked onto the set of a Harry Potter film and saw Daniel Radcliffe looking extremely beat up. She thought his makeup was real and asked, “Oh my gosh, what happened?”
He turned to her and said boldly, “As if you don’t know!”
The kid behind me at Starbucks got way too excited about the last pumpkin muffin….so I ordered it.